Advice For These Times

Advice For These Times

Every day we are inundated with images of where our world has gone and we are left with questions of how did we get here and what can we do to change our course. The unfortunate thing is...this is not the first time we, Americans, have been faced with racism, bigotry and pure hatred and disdain for one another. We have seen this same barrage of images before. However, unlike any other time in history, technology has made it almost impossible to escape the world wide terror that is erupting around the country. In order for us to traverse these rough waters ahead and come out with our sanity, there are a few things we MUST do:

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The Mis-Education of the Negro

The Mis-Education of the Negro

About 4 months ago I was made aware of at least 4 homicides that occurred within some days, if not weeks, of each other: two in San Bernardino, California; one in Cleveland, Ohio; and one in Chicago, Illinois, respectively. And while all of the incidents were isolated, they all have one commonality: all stemmed from issues surrounding domestic violence. What I find most disturbing are the reactions of individuals not toward the abusers, but toward the victims………..THE VICTIMS!!!!!!!!!!!! As you read this, please be sure to insert an obligatory deep sigh, 360 degree neck roll, and knuckle pop...all of which I am currently doing as I prepare to offer an education on the intricate nuances of domestic violence and spousal abuse.

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She Said...She Said (A Written Collaboration)

She Said...She Said (A Written Collaboration)

Why are we so quick to dismiss the stories of abuse by black girls and women? Why do we adopt the “you want to defame the black man” instead of “defending the abused woman” narrative? Why are we silent or blind when we know friends and family members who are sexual deviants? Why are we silent when we know there are young girls involved with adult men? Why isn’t it our business?  Why are black women and girls made to be responsible for their victimization?  Why do we continue to ignore sexual abuse in young black girls and black women?  Who will believe us?  I had thoughts and feelings about all of this and joined with my friend and advocate, Kawana Williams in a much needed commentary on a society that continues to devalue Black Women.   Please take a moment to read and comment on this important issue in our community.

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A Tale Of Two Cities: Lemonade and 4:44

A Tale Of Two Cities: Lemonade and 4:44

Kawana N. Williams is a native Chicagoan and the author of, “Coming to My Crossroads", a memoir about her diagnosis of and struggles with ovarian cancer. She is currently a licensed Professional counselor with the State of Illinois and a second year doctoral student at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology.  Today she is our guest blogger and has some important reflections on Beyoncé's visual album, Lemonade and Jay Z's recent release, 4:44.

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Screw your “Respectability”

Screw your “Respectability”

Women should be free to be whatever they choose without having their actions and bodies policed.  Black Women in particular are constantly fetishized and hyper sexualized while being vilified at the same time.  Who protects us?

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Must We Always Take the Blame? (Toxic Masculinity and Violence)

Must We Always Take the Blame? (Toxic Masculinity and Violence)

Easter Sunday a man by the name of Steve Stephens murdered Robert Godwin, Sr., live on Facebook.   This murderer randomly targeted Mr. Godwin and made him say the name of a woman who we later discovered was his ex, before shooting him dead.  The entire act was shown live on a now deleted Facebook video.  This man, who works as a case manager with a children’s behavioral health agency, went on a rant and proceeded to blame his ex for his actions.  His ex is in protective custody and he is still on the loose.  Many people ponder why someone would do such a heinous act. Many believe he is mentally ill but I’m just not buying it.  To make matters even worse, there are quite a few who blame his ex-girlfriend.  I cannot tell you how disgusted I have been reading the comments on social media.  It’s easier to acknowledge mental illness than address the elephant in the room.

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When Black Men? When?

When Black Men? When?

I’m so tired.  I’m tired of justifying my value to black men.   We are living in tumultuous times.  Last week, it was Tyrese condemning black women, this week we learned a teenage girl was kidnapped and gang raped live on Facebook and there are several missing black girls in Washington DC right now that no one is talking about….TIRED!!!! 

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MANIFEST THE VISION!

MANIFEST THE VISION!

The beginning of a new year is an opportunity to redefine yourself and your life. We often use the beginning of the year as a time of reflection and planning. This past weekend I was invited to a Vision Board party by a dear friend who also happens to be the most fabulous hostess!   She had 12 amazing women over to her home for an evening full of fabulous food, cocktails, laughter, great conversation and vision planning.  Our question was simple, what do you want for yourself in the New Year? 

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