FAKE 4:44- Stop Blaming Everything On Mental Illness!

FAKE 4:44- Stop Blaming Everything On Mental Illness!

As a result of the song and the album’s equally important themes,  conversations about Mental Health and Black men has been in the forefront with seminars, discussion groups etc. with black men discussing being vulnerable, healing and emotional availability.  Black men addressing toxic masculinity, mental illness and emotional issues in safe spaces has brought joy to my soul because it’s a conversation that is necessary and needed.  I watched “Footnotes to 4:44” and listened to black men get real about love and relationships, I felt hopeful.  It was raw, honest and real.  However, being accountable for your actions, real remorse and true healing cannot come without honesty and truth; first with yourself then with others. As Jay Z says, “you can’t heal what you won’t reveal”.  You gotta be watchful of the “Fake 4:44’s”, using the idea of vulnerability in a dishonest way. 

Read More

She Said...She Said (A Written Collaboration)

She Said...She Said (A Written Collaboration)

Why are we so quick to dismiss the stories of abuse by black girls and women? Why do we adopt the “you want to defame the black man” instead of “defending the abused woman” narrative? Why are we silent or blind when we know friends and family members who are sexual deviants? Why are we silent when we know there are young girls involved with adult men? Why isn’t it our business?  Why are black women and girls made to be responsible for their victimization?  Why do we continue to ignore sexual abuse in young black girls and black women?  Who will believe us?  I had thoughts and feelings about all of this and joined with my friend and advocate, Kawana Williams in a much needed commentary on a society that continues to devalue Black Women.   Please take a moment to read and comment on this important issue in our community.

Read More

Screw your “Respectability”

Screw your “Respectability”

Women should be free to be whatever they choose without having their actions and bodies policed.  Black Women in particular are constantly fetishized and hyper sexualized while being vilified at the same time.  Who protects us?

Read More

Must We Always Take the Blame? (Toxic Masculinity and Violence)

Must We Always Take the Blame? (Toxic Masculinity and Violence)

Easter Sunday a man by the name of Steve Stephens murdered Robert Godwin, Sr., live on Facebook.   This murderer randomly targeted Mr. Godwin and made him say the name of a woman who we later discovered was his ex, before shooting him dead.  The entire act was shown live on a now deleted Facebook video.  This man, who works as a case manager with a children’s behavioral health agency, went on a rant and proceeded to blame his ex for his actions.  His ex is in protective custody and he is still on the loose.  Many people ponder why someone would do such a heinous act. Many believe he is mentally ill but I’m just not buying it.  To make matters even worse, there are quite a few who blame his ex-girlfriend.  I cannot tell you how disgusted I have been reading the comments on social media.  It’s easier to acknowledge mental illness than address the elephant in the room.

Read More