Finding The Good in Goodbye


As we continue to explore ways of practicing gratitude, I wanted to explore ways to find the good in goodbye.  There are moments when relationships have to end.  Friendships, work partnerships, intimate relationships; we’ve all felt the uneasiness and or pain of ending relationships that no longer serve you, honor you or we simply just outgrow them.  This year, I’ve had to say goodbye to a couple of relationships that at some point were incredibly meaningful to me.  Where’s the good in that?


You can begin again.

The end of any relationship can be painful especially if the ending was bad or traumatic. I remember when my marriage ended how sad I was. I felt alone and unsure of the road ahead but there was also this feeling of anticipation.  I was finally free to start over and create the kind of life I wanted to live. The end of any relationship is also the beginning of a new opportunity.   My world was now open to new possibilities and I had the power to shape, create and manifest them in my life.  Sometimes it’s as simple as seeing your glass as half empty or half full.   Remember relationships end for a reason, whether you chose to end them or not and it’s important to remember that the universe will remove things not intended for you for your protection and/or well-being. Once you realize this, then it’s easier to understand and accept that what you were intertwined in,  was not meant for you or part of your destiny and purpose.  

You learn and gain wisdom

The end of a relationship is an opportunity to reflect.  It’s a time to understand why the relationship ended, what mistakes you made, what things or actions you can tolerate, what your triggers are, and what you really want and need out of a person, career or situation.  I’m a firm believer in taking time for you at the end of any relationship or traumatic ending. It’s important to spend time alone to gather your thoughts and feelings and really think about what it is that you want.  It’s a time to be selfish and put your needs first.  This can be a difficult time of transition, especially when it involves the loss of people and relationships that mattered to you.  This time can be heartbreaking and painful as you begin life without some people and things.  This time is critical because it is a time of introspection and revelation but it’s imperative that you are completely honest and real with yourself.     I’ve learned some of my greatest lessons during this time and faced difficult truths about myself as well.  I call this time, “soul work”.  It’s the time I work on becoming a better me. As my friend, Rhonda Height, would say, take the lessons and leave the baggage.   Anytime a relationship ends, is a time to gain wisdom and maturity through the experience.  Even if the relationship was negative or toxic, there is always a valuable lesson to learn and mistakes to recognize so you don’t repeat them again. 

Accept and Appreciate


Sometimes we focus so much on what we lost instead of what we have.  With each loss comes an opportunity to fill your life with something new and often, something better than before. The key is maintaining a positive attitude and having a hope and belief that the universe is prepared to give you everything you deserve.  Your only job is to be grateful for everything you have now.   At the end of any relationship, I try to remember the good, process the bad and take the lessons to move forward.  It’s not always that easy, there are moments of sadness, hurt, anger, confusion in between but it’s part of the process. The key is to acknowledge those feelings but say thank you for the lessons learned in the process.

What are some ways you found the “Good in Goodbye”?  

Until next time, Take care of yourselves and one another

D. Sanders