You have removed the mask, forgave yourself and others, took the necessary time and space to clear your mind and spirit, hit the pause button and showed yourself some tender loving care…So now what?

It’s time to move forward; whole, healed and complete, into a new chapter in our lives. Taking the lessons and leaving the baggage, we let it all go.  All of the emotional and mental work is void if we choose to hold on to the negative, painful and hurtful things, events and circumstances that happen in our lives.  Healing requires us to release it all with the knowledge and confidence that we are now wiser and well equipped for the next set of life’s challenges.  Whether it is health, diet and fitness challenges, financial challenges, a painful childhood, or the loss of a relationship, pain does not last forever unless we give it a home in our spirit.  You can and should end this chapter of your life and start a new one in your life’s story.  The most difficult step is releasing the hurt, guilt, and regret.  Many become stuck in an emotional “holding pattern” unable to move forward as a result. 

Moment of truth…time to get real…

I’ve been here…in this emotional holding pattern the entire time I’ve spent writing about healing.  I have been on a journey of healing from a loss and carrying the weight of regret for a while now.    I have spent months feeling a variety of emotions, anger, sadness, hurt, but most of all, regret at making wrong choices that come back to hurt me in the end.   I was angry and unwilling to forgive.   The last few months were downright ugly, and I barely recognized myself.  The rage, anger, hurt, bitterness, confusion were a recipe for emotional disaster.  The weight of carrying all of these emotions was destructive and began to weigh me down.  So I paused, took a step back, and went inward.  I was at a standstill, unable to proceed forward and unwilling to go backward.  I was in an emotional holding pattern.  

“If we are gonna heal...let it be glorious”
— Warsan Shire (from Beyonce's Lemonade)

The Truth...time to put the cards on the table

In hindsight, I missed the signs.  I had on rose colored glasses looking at a gray situation.  I could not see clearly.  Once I started to heal myself, I began to see my entire life differently. I realized how blessed I am because I experience love every single day of my life.  I surround myself with people who love me unconditionally, individuals who see my heart and people who love having me in their lives.  It is amazing how clear life becomes once you remove the mask, the rose colored glasses and start seeing things as they are. There is beauty in life, even in dark spaces; you just have to start looking at it with 20/20 vision.  I had to go through these steps and these uncomfortable emotions for myself, and in the process, I found something I didn’t even know was missing.   I found my voice, my vision became clearer, my focus became razor sharp, and I began to live with intention. I felt beautiful, more confident, and more awake.    Just like my logo, the lotus flower, I began to bloom right in the middle of a dark, murky space. 

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst... And then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry... you
— "Lester" (American Beauty)

Once you release these painful and negative emotions, memories and feelings, your journey becomes easier because you are no longer carrying those weights that were slowing you down, hindering your growth and progress.  New opportunities, experiences, relationships await you in the new chapter of your life, but you can arrive at your desired life’s destination much faster without the additional emotional luggage.  What are you holding onto and why?  What is it in your life that needs to be released? 

Thank you for joining me as I healed.  I hope I helped you lighten your load and given you a good roadmap should life detour you again.

Take care of yourselves and one another.

D. Sanders

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