The Adequate Child

The Adequate Child

Somewhere along the way, we as parents have stressed not only ourselves out chasing this “Exceptional” child score but we have stressed out our kids as well. In many states standardized testing, gifted testing and selective enrollment processes have turned us into number counters on a mission to make our kids THE BEST. We encourage them from the time they can walk to be great at a sport. We drill them with flashcards and charts on walls to make sure they can read before they can even stand up so they will be ahead of the game. We tell them they have to be the best and get up early to catch the proverbial worm so they do not get left behind.

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#ThursdayThoughts: For the Men Who Stand In The Gap (A Father's Day tribute from a single mom"

#ThursdayThoughts: For the Men Who Stand In The Gap (A Father's Day tribute from a single mom"

Father’s day used to be a weird holiday for me.  When the kids were younger, I was newly separated and was trying to figure out how to spend this day with my children in a way that never made them feel like they “were different” or “missing something.”  It was a difficult and challenging time.  I’d take my kids out to eat for something special, and I’d see looks of pity on people’s faces.  One lady even offered to pay for my family’s meal out of pity.  I would see red on those days.   As I got older and my kids were adjusting to this new family structure, I would spend my holiday as I did most holidays, with my Dad.   Nowadays, Father’s day seems to be split into celebrating Fatherhood and attacking single moms, at least on social media. It’s a sad state of affairs so I usually log off and disengage, rather than see the venom spewed on what should be a celebratory occasion.  So, what does a single mom do on Father’s Day? How do I celebrate when the father of my children is completely absent from their lives?  I could spend my time angry at the world, or I could wallow in sadness and victimhood, or I could choose to celebrate the men in my life who have stood in the gap and been father figures to my children. 

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