The Adequate Child

The Adequate Child

Somewhere along the way, we as parents have stressed not only ourselves out chasing this “Exceptional” child score but we have stressed out our kids as well. In many states standardized testing, gifted testing and selective enrollment processes have turned us into number counters on a mission to make our kids THE BEST. We encourage them from the time they can walk to be great at a sport. We drill them with flashcards and charts on walls to make sure they can read before they can even stand up so they will be ahead of the game. We tell them they have to be the best and get up early to catch the proverbial worm so they do not get left behind.

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Seasons Change

Seasons Change

Living in Chicago, you are lucky if you get to experience all 4 seasons. Normally you just get winter and summer with an about a month of fall and spring. Fall is in the air now and I’m noticing what an incredible metaphor for life each change of season has. It’s a period of transition…much similar to what has been happening in my own life.

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Anatomy of a Breakup: Pt.3-The Healing Power of Time

Anatomy of a Breakup:  Pt.3-The Healing Power of Time

We don’t take time to heal in relationships. We are so focused on moving on and getting over the end of a relationship we find ourselves in messy situations or other relationships that could have been avoided if we had just recognized and acknowledged our feelings and taken the time to process and deal with them. We are trying to microwave our emotional healing.

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Why We Need Safe Spaces of Sisterhood

Why We Need Safe Spaces of Sisterhood

Recently I spoke with one of my oldest friends and we were talking about how difficult it is to be married and the challenges that come with it and how there are so many times we feel alone in our issues because we don’t want other people to know we are going through the things we are going through. We laughed, we yelled, we joked about the things we were both going through and when I hung up I felt like I had just left her house. The invaluable advice on how to survive and the confidential ability to release all of the otherwise unspoken emotions that were bottled up in our hearts and minds is truly priceless. When I exhaled and realized my shoulders weren’t as high up as they were before we spoke, it hit me just how important having a safe space of sisterhood truly is.

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#ThursdayThoughts: Anatomy of a Breakup: PT.2-HOLD UP! (Denial and Anger)

#ThursdayThoughts:  Anatomy of a Breakup: PT.2-HOLD UP! (Denial and Anger)

It’s important to recognize where you are and take impeccable care of yourself during this time. If you let it, your anger can be exactly what you need to push you right out of sadness and into a clear mental space.  You begin to realize what you wanted was not what you received. You begin to understand that the universe is loyal to you because it will remove things in your life that don’t honor you, making way to better things.  Coming out of denial and anger is just another step in your re-awakening and re-discovering who you are after heartbreak.

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#ThursdayThoughts: Anatomy of a Breakup-The Moment of Impact

#ThursdayThoughts: Anatomy of a Breakup-The Moment of Impact

Sometimes it starts with a feeling. Something is off.  Silence, distance, fewer phone calls and text…you know something isn’t right. Do you say something or do you ignore it thinking things will get better? Even when you know a relationship is coming to an end, the actual END of it can cause a range of emotions.  It’s a withdrawal of sorts.  One minute you are accustomed to the phone calls, text messages and date nights and then just like that…it’s over…nothing. This initial “Shock” phase is filled with emotions.

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#ThursdayThoughts: What Kind of Friend Are You Really? (A Life Lesson in the Midst of Loss)

#ThursdayThoughts: What Kind of Friend Are You Really? (A Life Lesson in the Midst of Loss)

We all get busy; it seems like life is moving faster and faster every day.  Death and loss have a way of slowing it down and shifting your focus.  Life really is all about balance and equilibrium and we can always do better.  Tell the ones you care about how much you love them, make time for one another and do it as often as you can.  Life really is short and people you care about can be taken away in an instant.  Sometimes, there isn’t a “next time”.

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The Love Series: "Loving Through Adversity"

The Love Series: "Loving Through Adversity"

May is Mental Health Awareness month, and I wanted to continue my series on “Love and Relationships” by addressing the question:  Loving through Adversity:  How do you love someone who’s broken?  Is it possible? Is Love enough?  This portion of the Love and Relationship series begins with a guest post from writer, author, and poet, Nikki Rucker. I consider her a friend and lovingly call her one of my “little sisters.” She’s a phenomenal mother and wife who writes with such authenticity and transparency.  Today on the blog, Nikki shares her story of loving someone through adversity and brokenness.  Nikki courageously lifts the veil around mental illness in the black community and gives us an inside look into what it feels like to love someone in the midst of adversity. Her story is one of so many in our community, and I thank her for her openness and willingness to share.  –D. Sanders

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HEALING SERIES: FINALE-LET IT GO AND MOVE ON

HEALING SERIES: FINALE-LET IT GO AND MOVE ON

You have removed the mask, forgave yourself and others, took the necessary time and space to clear your mind and spirit, hit the pause button and showed yourself some tender loving care…So now what?

It’s time to move forward; whole, healed and complete, into a new chapter in our lives. Taking the lessons and leaving the baggage, we let it all go.  All of the emotional and mental work is void if we choose to hold on to the negative, painful and hurtful things, events and circumstances that happen in our lives.  Healing requires us to release it all with the knowledge and confidence that we are now wiser and well equipped for the next set of life’s challenges.  Whether it is health, diet and fitness challenges, financial challenges, a painful childhood, or the loss of a relationship, pain does not last forever unless we give it a home in our spirit.  You can and should end this chapter of your life and start a new one in your life’s story.

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CUT IT LOOSE!!!

CUT IT LOOSE!!!

What dead things are you holding on to? What do you need to cut out of your life? Dead friendships, relationships, dead finances, dead feelings of self-doubt, fear?  Part of healing requires cutting off the things that impede your growth.  It’s time for us to grow to new heights and new levels.  WE can’t do that until we cut some things loose!!!

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